some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize