just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
My bed is full of blood and feathers
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
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