is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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