The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
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