I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
The air was thick with penises
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize