hell yes lets make some ravioli
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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