I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
