Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
