I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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