how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
