So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
