And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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