I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
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