So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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