Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
