the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
