I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
