I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I just want to make out with him forever
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize