is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
We left an ass print on the piano.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
