He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
