She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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