my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
