I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Randomize
