Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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