we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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