question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Randomize
