so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
