exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
This is the high leading the old right now
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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