I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
