im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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