Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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