no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Dignity is for republicans.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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