he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
You are a genius and a whore.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
