I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Randomize
