He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
wow bdsm is so cute
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
