i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
