just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
