I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
