ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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