i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
