my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
i dont even know how to be here
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
