I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Randomize
