Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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