Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
