Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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