one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
