Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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