Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize