I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
