from now on my penis is your penis
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Randomize
