Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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