and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize
