after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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