420 ftw
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
