16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
