I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
You made out with two different species that night
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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