I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Randomize