I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
