Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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