he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
