The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
