she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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