I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
